The Misery of Gout

Gout is such an unglamorous illness! There's the pain, not being able to wear heels and the distasteful knowledge that you have crystals of uric acid making themselves at home in your toe joint. I mean, URIC ACID!!! You might as well say you've got pee running through your veins.

So, I went to bed on Thursday night with a slight twinge in my right foot, the sort of feeling you get when you've done too much walking and your feet are really tired. I woke up at 3am in agony - my foot was so sensitive, the duvet touching it brought on a sharp, burning pain, pain so intense I couldn't get back to sleep. I lay awake until 6am, then got up, made a cup of tea and had a couple of Nurofen (a stupid time to do that really, as my alarm was due to go off at 6.40am). When it was time to get up, I didn't, I knew there was no way I'd be able to face the journey to Leeds with a furnace burning in my foot. Instead I called in sick and tried to get an appointment with the doctor. As usual, getting an audience with the Pope would have been easier (a quick kiss of his ring, some tea and a Garibaldi) and I got to see the nurse instead. She poked, prodded and pulled, then announced it was probably gout, printed off a prescription and some details to take to the hospital, telling them to test my blood and what to test it for.

I had to miss the launch party for the Scaramanga Six's new album Songs of Prey. At one point in the evening I thought it would do me good to get out of the house for a while, but I pulled on a boot and thought I might pass out from the acute pain, so that was my night out up the Swanee.

So far this year I've had to start wearing glasses (albeit stunningly stylish ones) and have contracted gout. Is this the start of the slippery slope? All in all I feel quite old and more than a little depressed.

London Town

Just had a weekend in London. Due to work commitments it was all too short - Friday night to Sunday morning. I went to see Sparks at the Kentish Town Forum on Friday night, where they played their new album, 'Exotic Creatures of the Deep' and an old album, 'Kimono My House'. I could have gone to see them doing 'No. 1 in Heaven' on Saturday, but I saw them do that one last year and didn't want to try and recreate such a magical evening, with me dressed as an angel and loads of people chilling out in the Edward VII pub afterwards. On reflection I think I did the right thing - the pub people were supposed to be meeting up at afterwards had stopped serving and lot of people didn't go the one along the road, so that was a bit of an anti-climax.

I had promised myself I wouldn't go to Camden/Chalk Farm markets this time, but was staying so close to them I ended up there after all. I'm glad I did, I got some great clothes, including a hyper-groovy blue and orange psychedelic print shirt that I wore to the gig (and got lots of compliments about). A couple of tattoo-style t-shirts persuaded me to part with some more cash and my hat fetish was also indulged.

After all these years, I finally got an A to Z of London and this changed the feel of the weekend. Instead of getting the tube everywhere, I walked a lot more and saw places I'd usually miss. I also visited Portobello Market for the first time and spent several hours looking at overpriced clothes and antiques. This is a strategy I will definitely use again!

Looking Out of a Train Window

I've been away to Edinburgh for the weekend. As ever, it was a great feeling to see the now-familiar streets and buildings. Not everything was the same though - Princes Street is currently closed off while they do work on the new tram lines - this is supposed to be finished by 2011. It should have been started on Saturday morning but it has all gone pear-shaped. The firm doing the work has now demanded an extra £8,000,000 for 'additional costs'. So far, no work has gone ahead.

I was also tempted to go and see 'The Vagina Monologues' on Saturday night. It featured Karen Dunbar (Scottish comedienne who was the main attraction for me - I was intrigued to see what she'd be like in a dramatic role. Interestingly, the theatre it was playing at is a couple of doors away from CC Bloom's where she used to compere the karaoke), Kaye Ward (apparently she's on 'Loose Women'), Gail Porter (the one who's hair fell out and isn't Jade 'I'm going to shield my kids from the news of my cancer by having it plastered over the front pages of every newspaper and magazine' Goody/Tweed) and Michelle McManus (won X Factor and spent the money on pies).

Anyway, I got to the theatre and saw, in huge letters: 'The Ultimate Girls' Night Out!'. I went out drinking instead.

So, I was on the train back this afternoon, looking at the scenery whizzing past (inbetween reading Simon Doonan's 'Beautiful People', which had me laughing out loud). I noticed that, with the odd exception, any particularly picturesque piece of countryside with buildings on, had rather nice buildings, buildings with character. Then we got closer to England. I noticed then a lot of what must have formerly been fairly lush, luxurious landscape had been blighted with identikit boxes with little charm.It's no wonder a lot of Scots don't want to be identified as British.